May is when everything becomes an event. Weddings, hen dos, graduations, bank holidays, group dinners that somehow turn into full photoshoots. And with that comes a very specific kind of pressure.

Not “lose weight,” not even “tone up.” It is quieter than that...

“I just want to feel good in the photos.”
“I just want to be a bit more comfortable by then.”
“I just want to look like myself again.”

It sounds harmless. Reasonable and understandable, even. But Diet Culture loves this kind of language because it does not sound like pressure. It sounds like self-awareness. It sounds like care.

But what it often means is this: I will allow myself to enjoy this moment once I have changed my body.

And that idea does not come out of nowhere.

We have been trained to expect transformation before visibility. Look at Hollywood. Actors are praised for extreme body changes for roles, gaining or losing significant amounts of weight in short periods of time and being called “disciplined” or “dedicated” for it. Those transformations are celebrated, rewarded, and widely publicised.

The message is clear: your body is something to mould for approval, and the “after” version is always the one worth showing.

It is no surprise, then, that research shows around 70 to 80 percent of women report feeling dissatisfied with their bodies, and studies have found that appearance-related social media use is linked to increased body surveillance and lower self-esteem. We are not imagining the pressure. We have been taught it.

But May is full of moments that are meant to be lived, not managed. Laughing too loud at dinner. Standing in bad lighting. Being caught mid-bite in a photo you did not approve. Existing, basically.

The problem is not the photos. It is the idea that you need to edit yourself before you are allowed to be in them.

So this May, take the photo. Go to the event. Wear the outfit. Be seen.

You are not something that needs to be adjusted before you can be included.

Stay vigilant,

L x

P.s. Please excuse any typos, it is me that writes these and I'm currently in the midst of packing for a trip to celebrate out 10 year wedding anniversary 💕